A MOFFAT LAMENT

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Hear Ye
Dinner Club is nigh
And our Favourite Kiwi
Is lurking close nearby

We make our friendly greetings
Happy New Year hype
Our first of ‘05 gatherings
Is first of another type

Outside its cold with zero temps
Roger cares not of course
His blood still pumps & pumps & pumps
Even in his shorts

The day is soon upon him though
A day he’s grown to fear
The big five-oh for Roger
Is very nearly here

Oh, the Celebration!
From those who’ve turned the age
They’ll no longer be alone
On their downhill pilgrimage

I can’t quite put my finger on it
Roger’s so different now
Is it the color of his hair?
Or the wrinkling of his brow?

Now when he goes to bed at night
Beware the walking dead
Poor Lisa gets a scary fright
Each time Rog’ hits the head

To keep his heart a beating
Roger needs surprise!
A brand new kilt with pleating?
Would that give him a rise?

Ah, the Apprehension!
For the Under-50 Crowd
To view what’s to become of them
And wonder quite out loud

Is this the turning point in life?
Do years now backwards flow?
What is the reason for all the strife?
Where did my car-keys go?

As one of the Under-50 Crowd
To have this horror pending
I’ll say right here and now
I hope it’s not the ENDING!

Since Roger’s from so far away
A long lost memory
To help we’ll mix things up today
With a dinner-ectomy

His boyhood home is a world away
It’s almost noon Down Under
There, breakfast plates are put away
Here, how can we sooth his hunger?

A B&B in Wellington
Might serve a summer Brunch
I hope our menu here tonight
Will satisfy this bunch

It’s meant to make him feel no fright
We’re worried for Roger’s mind
Shhh, tell him it’s not the END tonight
Next year he’ll be forty-nine!

Moffat Lament (A Dinner Club Mourning)
By Don Bryant
29 January 2005
Copyright 2005; all rights reserved